Marlon Wayans Rewatches White Chicks, Requiem for a Dream, Scary Movie & More

I never wanna play a white woman again, it's so much work.

I just wanna play a Black man, that's all,

I wanna do Black Guy, The Movie, no makeup, no hair.

I wake up, I go to set, and boom,

Black Man, in theaters.

[static buzz]

Hey, what's up, It's Marlon Wayans.

Apparently we're gonna be watching some scenes

from my long-ass career.

Let go.

[electronic 80's cinematic music]

[VCR clicks VHS]

I see dead people!

[goofy laugh] Man, this is awesome!

Yo, son, you gotta roll some more of that shit up!

[Shorty cackles]

Shorty wasn't written,

because I was filming Dungeons and Dragons, and Requiem.

So, they left my character, kind of, out,

while they was putting together the movie.

And so, Keenan was like, every time I come to set,

okay, so what Shorty gonna do today?

And, I'd be like, Wait, what do you mean?

You wasn't here, we didn't write your character like that.

So, you tell me what he's gonna do.

Go into my trailer, and I come back with pages,

Shorty's downstairs getting high with all his friends,

and the killer walks in, and he thinks he's gonna kill him,

but instead, he gets high with them.

Oh, shit, son.

[group] Tug, tug, tug, tug, tug, tug, tug!

And then, from there, it was like,

I start thinking what else would be fun with the killer.

And, it'd be like, yo, we freestyle.

We know everybody always talking freestyles,

and they're always violent, but what if you freestyled it

with somebody that's, like, really violent,

like a fucking slasher.

♪ If the phone rings, don't answer that call ♪

♪ He's gonna slit your throat, fuck you like a goat ♪

♪ Peel your foreskin off, and make a winter coat ♪

♪ Peace ♪

Yo!

That was the illest rhyme I ever seen, son! [cackles]

And, Shorty was based on a real person,

a dude I knew who was my barber,

and he smoked a lot of weed, and I was just like,

Son, I'ma do you in a movie.

Me and my family have a long history of knowing

some really funny people that we grew up with,

or really funny people that we was around.

And, we was like,

that's a character.

[upbeat 80's electronic music]

Shit, man.

That motherfucker started look a little seedy, Jim.

What, are you particular, all of a sudden?

Hey baby, I don't care if the motherfucker growing her',

just as long as we get our bread,

Just gimme a hand.

All right.

Jared Leto, that's a pretty motherfucker, ain't he?

Mm, I used to piss him off every day we did Requiem,

because he was so into his character, you know,

he'd stop eating and shit, and get all emaciated.

And I was like, I ain't gonna do all that skinny shit.

Let me get a burger.

So, he's eating like little pumpkin seeds,

and I'm sitting there going,

mm, [chews loudly] you hungry? [laughs]

[VCR clicks]

[gentle discordant music]

[wagon rolls]

[Elderly Women] Hello. Hi.

That was a very hard movie to do, Requiem,

'cause it was my first, like, real dramatic role.

But, Darren Aronofsky had me come to New York City

in February.

First of all, I auditioned six times for the role.

Finally, I got the role.

So, he makes me come to New York, in a meeting,

and he's like, okay, come on, we're gonna go for a walk.

It's February.

He said, take your shirt off.

I said, what, what, what kind of, what was going on?

And, he's like, just trust me.

I took my shirt off, and we walked around New York City

with no shirt in February, and I was freezing!

And, we got back to the rehearsal stage, rehearsal room.

He was like, how do you feel?

I said, cold!

He said, I just want you to know what it felt like

to be cold in New York.

Remember this moment, because it's gonna be June

when we film this scene that takes place in winter.

I said, you Jackass! I was born and raised in New York!

Why the hell would you? I know how cold it is out here!

I didn't have no jack in my whole childhood!

Why would you? I was poor! Why?

I don't need this method acting thing.

And, but I did it, and the movie turned out great.

So, maybe I should shut up.

[VCR clicks]

I remember specifically we went to a heroin clinic

to talk to recovering addicts.

And, you know, there was this one dude, and he was like,

he's buff, like lean, and buff.

And, I was like, and he was funny.

And, I was like, oh, it is interesting.

For my character, that's what I want to do.

I want to be the funny guy.

And, Darren was like, yes.

And so, when he has his fall from grace,

that's when the audience is just like, oh, shit!

On top of her getting ass to ass,

and this dude getting his arm chopped off,

and the mother getting electric shock treatment,

like all of us went on this ride straight to hell.

It helped sell the tragedy of that movie.

And, I think that, yeah,

that that'll make you put your drugs down.

Requiem, is the greatest drug PSA ever.

[upbeat electronic 80's music]

[VCR rewinds]

You know, I like a woman with a little extra something,

a little cushion for the pushing.

White Chicks, was a very hard movie,

'cause we spent six hours of makeup,

it was supposed to be summertime in the Hamptons.

We filmed wintertime in Vancouver,

and then with two Black men playing two white women.

And, I got brown eyes, and so, they put blue eye contacts in

and man, the heels, my feet hurt so bad.

I never wanna play a white woman again.

Everybody's like, it's so much work.

I just wanna play Black man, that's all.

I wanna do, Black Guy, The Movie.

Crazy enough, I actually make a pretty cute white woman.

So much so that Terry Cruz developed a crush on me

as the white chick.

And, I was like, Negro,

if you don't get ass your away from me!

He's like, you just look so cute.'

[Marcus farts loudly] [Latrell groans disgustedly]

[dog whines]

[laughs] Oopsie! I had a poopsie!

[laughs] Girl, we gonna get along just fine!

[Interviewer] Is there a art to toilet humor?

Is there a art to the fart?

I mean, most people enjoy psychological humor,

you know what I mean?

I just feel like when you're a writer, or you're a critic,

it's hard to embrace, like, crazy humor like we had,

we did it for the audience, we did it for the layman's,

we did it for the real people that just wanted to laugh

that wasn't thinking too much.

We did it for the writers that can't write about it,

but they could still enjoy the movie.

They just can't say they enjoyed the movie.

We got, like, one and a half stars on this movie,

and 20 something years later, it's a classic.

[upbeat electronic 80's music]

[ VCR rewinds]

♪ We're brothers, we're happy, ♪

♪ and we're singing, and we're colored ♪

♪ Gimme a high five ♪

Our family, we're a bunch of trolls.

We are all a bunch of trolls,

and there's always the same TV, two brothers,

some white guys writing their show,

and they're dressed like, you know, like,

what they think the the hip cool clothes are,

and, you know, acting jive, and hip, and it's unauthentic.

And, we wanted to shake things up.

So, we started with that.

♪ We're the brothers, they're happy ♪

♪ And they're singing, and they're colored ♪

The reason why we did that,

is that was us shaking up pop culture.

That's us going,

we gonna break some rules, we gonna do some different,

you are gonna see two Black guys on TV,

with their own show like you've never seen it before.

And, that's what we did.

My mama died.

What? [laughs track]

Mama died?

[magazines clatter to floor]

[laugh track]

We looked at the content that was on television

at the time.

We was looking at these roles that Black people had,

and they always had us so mellow dramatic, you know?

It was always Black people being so sorry about something,

and being dramatic.

So, every little thing, and we made fun of those characters,

and that writing, by doing it, and sending it up,

and be like, why? over the littlest thing.

If you watch Wayans Brothers,

over the years we got better.

The shows got better,

the stories got better because we got more experience

and we knew what was right, what was wrong.

We found our pocket, and then they canceled our Black ass.

But, the beauty, and the beauty of God,

is the minute they canceled our show,

Scary Movie, became the biggest hit in Hollywood.

[upbeat electronic 80's music]

[VCR rewinds]

He did say if somebody was to buy him a red Mercedes 380 SL,

he would sign a shoe contract for life with anybody,

except Nike.

It was great to go play the legendary George Raveling,

you know, something Michael Jordan wanted in the movie,

and it was important.

And, Ben was like, it's an important role.

It's not gonna get cut no matter what,

because Michael Jordan wants this in the movie.

And, I was like, 'cause normally somebody goes,

you wanna do one scene?

It's like, [groan]

I don't know, you can easily cut that one scene.

But, I was like, Oh, MJ says it's in?

Oh, I'm there, I'm there. [VCR clicks]

I'm looking for my favorite line. It's not in there.

Then I noticed the whole second half of the speech

is completely different.

What was the line you were looking for?

I have a dream.

Come on, get the fuck outta here.

The, I have a dream, do you have that?

Yeah.

I got a call from Ben Affleck.

I thought it was spam, so almost hung up on his ass.

And, I heard JLo in the background,

and I was like, Oh, maybe this really is him.

It's a drama, but I wanted to have, like, this personality

and you're such a good actor, and you're good looking,

and people know you, and I was talking to JLo,

and she was like, what about Marlon?

And, I was like, perfect.

And, like, he gave me a 45 minute phone call,

and then said, would you be in my movie?

I was like, Ben, you had me at hello.

I seen Argo! Yes, I'd be in your movie!

I'd be an extra on you,

if you told me you was filming a porn,

I'd be like, bet, what time I'm showing up?

[upbeat electronic 80's music]

[VCR rewinds]

It's crazy.

My father would never even say the phrase happy birthday.

It felt like if he said happy birthday,

he would instantly go to Hell.

So, he wouldn't say the phrase,

and then call me on my birthday.

He goes, Hey son. Happy Wednesday. All true.

This negro never celebrated holidays.

It was so weird growing up that my mom loved holidays

and my dad didn't.

Halloween, Christmas, nothing.

And, I think that's why we loved holidays so much,

was just because we wanted to annoy the shit out my dad.

This special, Good Grief, definitely helped me heal

from the trauma of losing my parents.

Enjoy your life, enjoy your parents,

enjoy your loved ones as long as you can live and breathe.

Please, do the best you can to get as much outta life

as you can.

[audience cheers]

I had great parents, a great upbringing,

wonderful brothers and sisters.

I had a dope-ass childhood, but I just miss my parents,

and I think talking about them every weekend on a stage,

and oftentimes, I'd cry on that stage.

I cry more on a stage than I do in therapy,

and that's crazy,

'cause I spend $250 an hour for my damn therapy.

[VCR clicks]

My mama told me, as a little boy, she said, baby boy,

you learn to laugh in your worst moments,

and you going to smile the rest of your days.

Losing my mother was my worst moment.

[applause]

I think I cried that night

because it was like saying goodbye to my parents.

It was a sendoff.

Yeah, that experience was exactly that, cathartic.

It was like, brought it all home for me,

and now I know I got God, and I got my mom here,

and my dad here, and I got wings.

So now, like I said, I'm ready for the next level of life

for the next 50 years,

and by the time I'm a hundred, I'm gonna finally look 50.

[VCR rewinds]

Thanks for watching.

[electronic buzz]

We out, y'all.