Toni Collette Rewatches Hereditary, Knives Out, The Sixth Sense & More

We just literally hung out in the basement,

chatting and shooting the [beep] day in and day out

and enjoying each other.

They are all beautiful, interesting people.

And it was fantastic.

Hi, my name's Toni Collette.

And today, we are gonna take a walk down memory lane,

looking at some of the films that I've made

over the last 30 years. Let's go.

[upbeat music]

[upbeat music]

Try again. Release yourself.

Oh, release you, you mean?

Yeah. Fine. Release me. Just say it. Just fucking say it!

Don't you swear at me, you little shit!

Don't you ever raise your voice at me! I am your mother!

I have a friend who calls me the good grief girl.

But I do gravitate towards these stories about loss

'cause it's the most confronting part of life.

We're here and then we're gone.

And the people we love are here and then they're gone.

All I do is worry and slave and defend you.

And all I get back is that fucking face on your face!

Hereditary was actually really healthy for me.

It seems like it would be the most intense experience,

which it was.

But it was the job where I figured out how to clean up.

It's like cooking in the kitchen.

Clean as you go. Clean as you go.

Because what I have learned is the body doesn't know

what's fiction and what's real.

So whatever I'm feeling and I don't know how to not feel it,

I work that way.

And I like working that way

because if I connect with myself,

it means audience members will connect with it

and then they connect with themselves.

And I think connection is actually

the most important thing there is.

So full of just pain and resentment and always so annoyed.

And there was really no rehearsal, I have to say.

We talked about it, briefly, one day,

in a hotel room in Salt Lake City.

And then when we came to shoot scenes,

I think Ari just trusted us to,

and he hired people who did know.

We got it. We knew, we knew.

What did they say on Twitter?

We knew what the assignment was. [Toni laughs]

Yeah. So I came on set, did it a few times. That was it.

Well, now your sister is dead!

Oh, Gabriel's so sweet. I loved working with him.

And I know it was an accident. And I know you're in pain.

And I wish I could take that away for you.

I wish I could shield you from the knowledge

that you did what you did.

But your sister is dead!

She says so many horrible things to her son in this scene.

And the only way I could forgive my character

is to know that when you're grieving, you can't be judged.

I mean, you're just so open and raw.

She doesn't even realize how much she's seething, you know?

If you could have just said, I'm sorry,

or faced up to what happened.

Maybe then, we could do something with this.

But you can't take responsibility for anything!

So now I can't accept and I can't forgive,

because nobody admits anything they've done!

I'm playing this woman who has been used and lied to

and manipulated by her own mother her entire life.

So this moment of exploding at her son

isn't actually just about the loss of his sister,

her daughter.

It's actually so many things that have been suppressed

for decades, right?

And when you're working with good material,

the first time I read a script, it will make, I can hear it.

I don't have to work, work, work to find it.

It is so clear to me.

It's just a literally a matter of getting out of my own way

because I feel like I know the essence of it.

I know where it kind of where it needs to go.

And really it's more about letting go

than trying to manipulate it in any way.

Yeah, this scene was pretty full on. [Toni laughs]

[upbeat music]

Someone got hurt. They did?

A lady, she died.

Oh my God. But you can see her?

Do you know this scene?

In my gut, just felt so big and emotional.

Like it's a really beautifully written scene

and such a great opportunity to express real feelings

about grief and loss and connection.

Anyway, I remember the night before,

I thought, If I stay home, I won't sleep.

I'll just kind of implode.

So I came to New York and I saw Elvis Costello

and Burt Bacharach play a concert

that was being filmed instead.

Which was great. And got a car back to Philadelphia.

I dunno how I managed to sleep.

Where is she?

Standing next to my window.

Oh, you're scaring me.

Haley was much younger than me.

So Night shot his coverage first.

I had made this scene so alive in me

that even on Haley's coverage,

I was bawling my eyes out.

And Night kept saying,

Oh you know, you don't wanna waste it, just hold back.

But I just knew that it was a dam in there

and I didn't need to.

And so, you can repeat scenes, you can do several takes.

But actually the ones that are most alive

and feel real can't be repeated.

There's just something magical in them.

They're the best days where you just,

you're so in it that you don't even remember

what you've done.

Grandma says hi.

She says she's sorry for taking the bumblebee pendant.

She just likes it a lot.

What?

Grandma comes to visit me sometimes.

Grief is something we all experience.

At that point,

I hadn't dealt with the grief of my grandmother passing.

I was 24 when we made this.

My grandmother passed when I was 14.

So 10 years later, it was still like right here.

And I know, that's what this is.

It's just having a connection to someone who's gone

and knowing that they're still there in a way, you know?

They're still around you and for your own little baby

to open you up to that idea?

She's a working class mom, they don't have much.

She's doing her best.

And it's almost like getting approval

from someone who's already gone that you,

she's got no one else to look to.

And she's getting it from beyond the grave, you know?

It's, yeah. It's a really special scene.

You came to the place where they buried her.

Asked her a question.

She said the answer is,

Every day.

He's so amazing in this movie.

I mean, I don't know how he did it. He was so young.

Which is an incredibly ageist thing for me to say.

I've worked with a lot of kids

and I just always try to remain open to them

and I consider us equals.

We're both hired there to do a job.

And obviously our relationship is very connected

and he was just a really sweet, good boy.

He wanted to do a really good job

and very much still a kid, you know?

Although he was super professional, like amazing.

[upbeat music]

Beautiful.

I hope the photos help your sister out of that coma.

I tried on a lot of wedding dresses! [Toni laughs]

But Muriel is such a dag.

Which I guess is an adorable, lovable dork.

And I love this

'cause it's a story about someone

who doesn't really know themselves and who's been bullied,

changing the dynamics of her family.

It is the saddest comedy ever made.

Mariel! [Muriel screams]

What are you doing?

No, nothing.

Why didn't you tell me you were gonna marry Tim?

Who?

I remember this scene,

getting ready for it the night before

and I made this playlist.

Because this is the scene where everything she's hiding

is exposed by her best friend.

Seeing your wedding album,

you've tried on every dress in Sydney.

That doesn't mean I'm getting married!

What else does it mean?

I wanna get married! I've always wanted to get married.

If I can get married, it means I've changed.

I'm a new person.

Muriel has this whole fantasy life

where she feels she needs to be accepted and adored

and chosen by a guy, which is obviously a myth.

Basically she doesn't like herself.

And I think it's not uncommon for young people

who don't know themselves to look to the external world

for some kind of validation.

And you see in this scene

just how much she dislikes herself.

In a fantastic way, actually, even though this is upsetting,

it's the turning point.

'Cause then she can't continue with the lie any longer.

She has to address these things.

But when I came to Sydney and became Mariel,

Bryce asked me out.

And that proves I'm already different than I was.

And if someone wants to marry me, I'm not her anymore.

I'm me.

Her?

Muriel! Muriel Heslop! Stupid, fat and useless!

I hate her!

I found Muriel in the way that you find any character.

It's always in the writing.

You know, if something is well written, it flows.

You find something to resonate with.

With this particular story,

it kind of felt like a religious experience for me.

There were so many elements of her that I,

I don't think I quite hated myself the way she did.

But I certainly didn't know myself in the same way she did.

I think it took me a long time for me to accept myself

and which then leads to self-love.

And this is the moment in her life

where she's got none of that.

Oh, why can't it be me?

Why can't I be the one?

It's so incredibly sad.

There's just so much self-hatred.

She didn't have any support growing up. I'm already crying.

I mean it really is such a sad story.

And it's such a triumphant one,

which is why I think people still wanna talk about it today.

It's just tonally what I've always loved

and I was so lucky to work with this material

at such an early stage in my career.

My kids actually, they haven't seen it.

They were kind of mortified.

My son just kept going, Mom, Mom, this is really sad.

I was like, Yeah, it really is.

It's so funny,

'cause people seem to remember the Waterloo scene where,

and all the really kind of heightened fun, camp,

comedic moments.

But it's dark.

[upbeat music]

Joni Thrombey, Harlan Thrombey's daughter-in-law?

Mmm. Yeah. I married his son, Neil.

We had one daughter, Meg.

And then Neil passed on 15 years ago.

I couldn't believe I got offered this part.

I was so excited because she's hilarious!

She's so pretentious and trying to pretend that she's not.

And she's this Earth Mother.

She's such a complex web of ridiculousness.

We were all called in to do our interviews.

We shot them and then someone else

were called in when we left.

He was there.

He was sitting in the back and tinkering on the piano.

And I was able to kind of look at him like,

Who is this dude? Why is he here?

And it was exactly as it appears in the movie.

We're all there.

Isn't that incredible, that wheel of knives?

You remained close to the Thrombeys?

Oh, they're my family.

♪ I could feel at the time ♪

I feel simultaneously freed by and supported by them.

Ah yeah.

Instead of saying simultaneously,

I accidentally said simultaneously.

But then I was like, That's perfectly pretentious.

You know, she would do that. I've spent some time in London.

I say simultaneous instead of simultaneous.

I chose this song, by the way.

He said, What do you wanna dance to?

And I said this song.

And I thought there's no way they'll ever, ever buy it,

'cause it'll be really expensive.

And it bloody well did.

It's that balance of opposites that's the nugget of Flam.

Sorry, the nugget of? Flam.

Oh, yep. Flam, your skincare company. Sorry.

I forgive you.

Because the nature of the story

had us all there for much of it,

we just literally hung out in the basement,

chatting and shooting the shit, day in and day out,

and enjoying each other.

It was excellent.

And they are all incredible actors,

but they are all beautiful, interesting people.

And it was fantastic.

[upbeat music]

So I got your messages.

And I was gonna call you first thing tomorrow.

Yeah, sure. You were gonna call me first thing tomorrow.

Josh Charles is so good at playing the bad guy.

Like, he's so unlikeable in the show.

He just represents the patriarchy, right? So...

Now what do you need from me?

First off, I need you to answer the phone when I call.

I mean, we're in a state of crisis here.

I play Margot Cleary-Lopez. I find her really inspirational.

She's mayor of Seattle. Hilarious.

I'm playing the mayor of Seattle.

And she's very good at her job.

She's passionate and idealistic,

but she's also realistic and grounded

and does have good intentions

and wants to represent the people,

rather than, it's not, it's less about ego for her.

I think crisis is maybe a little strong.

Oh, please.

Don't do the whole Danny Dandon's

got everything under controlled bit.

My character's the one who is really starting

to put it together.

Young girls all over the world are developing a new organ,

called a skein, which exists here in the collarbone.

And it allows them to become conductors of electricity.

Her daughter gets it.

All the male politicians,

everyone in charge is trying to squash it

and pretend it's a hoax.

So you know when you suddenly look around and go,

Oh my God, it actually falls on me.

I am gonna have to be the truth teller here.

I'm gonna have to leave myself behind and step up.

And in this scene,

I'm trying to communicate with this guy

that I always have to listen to

and I always have to get permission from.

This scene really highlights how she still has to put up

with a bunch of misogyny and sexism

and all the crap that women put up with

on a day-to-day basis.

He's a dick.

I get that you wanna manage optics

with the Senate campaign.

No, this isn't about my campaign.

This is about you coming to my house

in the middle of the night screaming the sky is falling.

And guess what?

The sky's always falling.

Because that's governing.

Now how can I help you do that more effectively?

He's just so condescending.

She's just trying to do good.

And he's just like,

this is her holding her own and getting what she wants

but also not being able to punch him in the face

for being a dick.

I know. It seems crazy, right?

But just, just look at -

When there's new information or change,

people don't like change, but life has changed.

And she's kind of questioning whether it's real or not.

And he just shoots her down.

He doesn't wanna believe it at all.

See, I think everything that's happening,

it could be connected to whatever this is.

Marco. I know, I know.

He's so predictable.

She already knows how he's gonna respond.

But who else is she meant to go to, you know?

They should be partners in how they deal with things,

but he's clearly not.

Seemed like you're under a lot of stress.

I am stressed! My city is on fire!

Isn't it your anniversary?

Yes.

And then he gets personal.

A woman can't do her job without bringing in

some kind of personal thing and judgment, you know?

Instead of talking about the issue at hand,

he starts talking about how she's failing at home.

I say this as someone who cares about you and your career.

Calm down. Go home. Go hang out with your husband.

Calm down. Let's tell women to calm down.

I mean, she's not even being irrational or emotional.

She's talking about real things.

And this is the response she gets.

Thanks.

Here it comes.

You do this as long as I have,

you learn not to get your panties all in a bunch.

I have no words. This is so relatable for so many women.

My what? In a what?

You, you know what I mean.

Mm hmm. We all know what you mean.

Thank you so much for watching.

I gotta go now. Take care!